This is so true. Kids need that extra minute to struggle and it builds that confidence and self esteem later on. It’s so hard for parents (myself included! 😂) to not step in but we can reframe and use that “helping” energy to reinforce effort and resilience!
Such an important message — independence is needed for growth!
In my opinion, we can expand this further to young adults as well.
Just as kids need room to struggle with zipping a jacket or pouring juice, college students need space to navigate complex ideas, manage their time, and make academic decisions — sometimes getting it wrong before they get it right.
If we, as faculty, try to control every step — dictating every decision, rescuing them at the first sign of struggle — they never develop the confidence, resilience, or independent thinking that higher education should cultivate.
Take academic advising as an example. At many institutions, students must meet with an advisor before registering for classes, largely to prevent mistakes that might delay graduation. The intent is good, but the message is subtle: someone will always double-check your decisions... or make them for you.
Allowing college students to wrestle with problems, while we remain a supportive safety net, fosters the same self-determination and autonomy that developmental psychologists describe in children. It’s not about abandoning guidance; it’s about creating scaffolding so students learn to think critically, make decisions, and own their successes (and failures).
After all, the independence we nurture in toddlers learning to pour juice is the same foundation we build on when guiding young adults toward becoming confident, capable learners who can navigate life on their own.
I firmly agree with this! As a faculty member, I see this all the time - especially in the traditional undergraduate population. For 5+ years now, I've started having assignments in my Intro courses about professionalism and now professionalism is a row on every one of my rubrics. College students (aka, young adults) need the ability to be professional and plan without other adults telling them how to do this. You may have just given me a great idea for another post and diving into this research.
It's so great to see that, when properly supported, kids just absolutely fly with independence. It's one of those, "it's working!" moments of parenthood that just brings smiles to everyone's faces.
This is so true. Kids need that extra minute to struggle and it builds that confidence and self esteem later on. It’s so hard for parents (myself included! 😂) to not step in but we can reframe and use that “helping” energy to reinforce effort and resilience!
Truly! It's so difficult to step back and let them do it on their own - especially when already running late!
Such an important message — independence is needed for growth!
In my opinion, we can expand this further to young adults as well.
Just as kids need room to struggle with zipping a jacket or pouring juice, college students need space to navigate complex ideas, manage their time, and make academic decisions — sometimes getting it wrong before they get it right.
If we, as faculty, try to control every step — dictating every decision, rescuing them at the first sign of struggle — they never develop the confidence, resilience, or independent thinking that higher education should cultivate.
Take academic advising as an example. At many institutions, students must meet with an advisor before registering for classes, largely to prevent mistakes that might delay graduation. The intent is good, but the message is subtle: someone will always double-check your decisions... or make them for you.
Allowing college students to wrestle with problems, while we remain a supportive safety net, fosters the same self-determination and autonomy that developmental psychologists describe in children. It’s not about abandoning guidance; it’s about creating scaffolding so students learn to think critically, make decisions, and own their successes (and failures).
After all, the independence we nurture in toddlers learning to pour juice is the same foundation we build on when guiding young adults toward becoming confident, capable learners who can navigate life on their own.
I firmly agree with this! As a faculty member, I see this all the time - especially in the traditional undergraduate population. For 5+ years now, I've started having assignments in my Intro courses about professionalism and now professionalism is a row on every one of my rubrics. College students (aka, young adults) need the ability to be professional and plan without other adults telling them how to do this. You may have just given me a great idea for another post and diving into this research.
I love it how reader comments can often lead to ideas for new posts!
It's so great to see that, when properly supported, kids just absolutely fly with independence. It's one of those, "it's working!" moments of parenthood that just brings smiles to everyone's faces.