Love this deep dive into autonomy support! As a mom of two toddlers, I see Self-Determination Theory in action daily, usually in the form of spilled water from the “big boy” water cups and fierce independence over who gets to buckle the car seat straps when we’re in a hurry in the morning rush. Hearing “I can do it!” is both a blessing and a reminder to brace yourself! It’s messy, and sometimes time-consuming, yes, but I remind myself those tiny moments are laying the groundwork for resilience and confidence later on. The research framing here really motivates me to step back just enough to let them try (even when my mess-averse self wants to jump in.
I’m so glad this resonates with you on multiple levels! And honestly, as a parent, there’s almost nothing better than the look of pride and excitement on our kid’s face when they finally get something that they’ve been working hard to do on their own!
Such good advice for many, namely parents. As a counselor, I’m often saying “partner, don’t parent.” At that stage, they don’t need to be told, they need another perspective. It’s a way of directing them while ensuring they believe it was their idea. I did this with my kids.
Great article, a must read for college professors who teach and advise undergrads!
Building independence at any age requires some intentional structure designed to foster growth and autonomy. Regardless if one is trying to promote autonomy in a small child or a college student, the underlying principles have much in common.
Love this deep dive into autonomy support! As a mom of two toddlers, I see Self-Determination Theory in action daily, usually in the form of spilled water from the “big boy” water cups and fierce independence over who gets to buckle the car seat straps when we’re in a hurry in the morning rush. Hearing “I can do it!” is both a blessing and a reminder to brace yourself! It’s messy, and sometimes time-consuming, yes, but I remind myself those tiny moments are laying the groundwork for resilience and confidence later on. The research framing here really motivates me to step back just enough to let them try (even when my mess-averse self wants to jump in.
I’m so glad this resonates with you on multiple levels! And honestly, as a parent, there’s almost nothing better than the look of pride and excitement on our kid’s face when they finally get something that they’ve been working hard to do on their own!
Such good advice for many, namely parents. As a counselor, I’m often saying “partner, don’t parent.” At that stage, they don’t need to be told, they need another perspective. It’s a way of directing them while ensuring they believe it was their idea. I did this with my kids.
Yes! This stage of life requires a partner or even a “coach” role from the parent. More guidance and advice than anything else.
Great article, a must read for college professors who teach and advise undergrads!
Building independence at any age requires some intentional structure designed to foster growth and autonomy. Regardless if one is trying to promote autonomy in a small child or a college student, the underlying principles have much in common.
Totally agree with this, many are shocked when we tell them we were not all perfect A grade students!
Yes! I like to think it gives them hope for their own goals.